Sunday, 8 April 2012

The month that weighs in ;)


It is April already? It is already April! Is it?

This is the special-est month for me in the year, because of course, my birthday falls in this month and not to mention it is summer holiday time! Call me childish, but give me some credit for still getting excited about a birthday. Most people on the wrong side of thirty nowadays would rather mope around the birthday month - that it lasts just till their fortieth comes around, is another matter.

I am telling you, the only time I really dreaded my birthday was when I was about to turn 30. Sort of momentous, isn't it? The big 3-0 ;) Anyways, now that the milestone has been crossed I don't worry too much about the age than as much about the size. My size, that is. The bitter weight gain-weight loss yo-yo that I have been on since getting pregnant has left me at a size I would rather not mention. But here is the big damning revelation - I am currently the exact same weight as I was when I was 9 months (+ a few days) pregnant! How I reached here is a really looooooong story, whittled down for your perusal below :

Chapter 1. Pregnancy, Childbirth and first year of baby : We went to Zurich when I was 7 months pregnant as I have mentioned before. So I happily gained a few extra kilos(extra to the ones I should have ideally put on) in the last few months of pregnancy because of the extra (yummy) food that I suddenly had access to - read- cheese, bread, baked goodies and err..chocolate!! When baby was born I did lose some weight and went on a spree of weird diets to help me lose the extra tyres. Here may I thank Dr.Atkin, Grapefruit and boiled egg, Beyonce Knowles aka Master Cleanse and a host of weight loss supplements readily available at the friendly neighbourhood Pharmacy.

Chapter 2. Baby's second and third year: This period was a stressful period due to various reasons that I will not get into here. But will suffice to say, that emotional eater had by now become my middle name, so much so that it had come and 'round'ly sat on my mid-section! During this time I made my acquaintance with Messrs.Fat Loss for Idiots (Google it up), Beyond Calories, Raw food chicas, The VLCC institute of whip-thin rude nutritionists and sweaty hot pulse weight loss machines, Personal trainers, Bolly-robics, Plain Vanilla Bollywood dancing, Altitude Chambers (Reduced oxygen and all that jazz), and my favourite thus far Dr.Dukan (I even bought the special oat bran from Paris!). This was also the time when things like Acai Berry, flaxseed oil, Sibutramine and other such exotics entered my medical cabinet. And also a thing called Eltroxin - for the lil mister Thyroid gland who had apparently gone stuporous during my pregnancy. Long story, short : If you showed me a new 'sure-fire' method of weight loss, I would be sure to give it a go! Sigh! Weight gained during this period cancelled out any weight loss I had had after delivery!

Chapter 3. Year Four and running : Well I am not the one running. Weight loss efforts have been pared down after a very real and very painful 'gym' injury (Yes, one of the few times that I was there!). I tried to learn swimming, but - cough, cough - after a near drowning experience, have well - given up on that for the time being.

Now that leaves me fair and round at round one! Zero Points :(

What should I do now? This year, as in the last few years, as my birthday huffs and puffs its way around I am again lost for answers while the adipose cells are possibly settling down with the popcorn or whatever it is that makes them stick to me like fevicol ka mazboot jod!

So I have set myself a small challenge - only for the month of April. What it is I am not going to say here. If I meet it -swell. If I don't then well, there is another not so funny blog post coming your way! Wish me luck - and, oh - a Happy-go-lightly Birthday!

Monday, 2 April 2012

The week that was!

What a strange week it has been. I've been ill (with a clogged ear, nose, throat, head...will spare you the details) - and have not really had time to realize it. The beauty of having a child is that once the motions of the week start, you really have not much time to dwell on ailments and other derailments ;) Unless of course you are unbearably ill or something. Anyhow, I managed somehow with Paracetamols and Sinarests of the world, till I realized on Saturday that the uneasiness that had begun the week before with fever had not yet subsided, so I had to finally finally resolve to antibiotics! Am still not completely A-ok, but hopefully should be better this week with the antibiotics etc.
This week is of course going to be shorter, what with the long Easter weekend coming up. We have nothing planned other than going to church all four days! After a winter of discontent the heat is catching up with Mumbai now. I am getting all worked up thinking about how to entertain the kidlet this summer, once her vacation starts! We have planned a short trip in May but for about 3 weeks before that there is nothing planned as yet. The last two years I had sent her to a Summer camp ( 3 hrs of craft, activities, singing games etc. ) at the Toddler Activity Centre at Worli. But this year I don't want to do that again. For one, the idea of shunting ourselves about town during holidays is a royal pain! Holidays are meant for laziness (Ok, a bit!) and relaxation no? I'm actively looking for options near home - but the sad part is the few that are there are really not that great (alright you can judge me, but I would expect a certain standard for any activity. If its not worth it then kidlet could rather watch TV at home than go out and do something totally wasteful!). Have heard a lot about Raell Padamsee's acting workshop - so I may be enrolling her for that given her penchant for full on dramebaazi!
Lets see!
Sorry about this totally random rant. I had some mind-boggling(!!) topics lined up to blog about, but this illness has really slowed me down :(
Hope you have a great time this summer, wherever in the world you are. Cheerios :-)



Wednesday, 21 March 2012

And then we have special days

Or right now, today is 'Fathers Day' in kidlet's school. Last year too they had one. Wherein the Dads, those beings who get parenting medals for being chief wage earners and general entertainment specialists , get a whole day (of school) dedicated to their wonderfulness! Do a sound a bit jealous now? Well, thats because I am - a bit - very teeny bit - jealous. Not to mention they don't even have a 'Mother's Day' to compensate.
Anyways, minor cribs apart, the entire last week has been quietly anticipatory. I have caught the kid singing her 'Daddy' songs inside her little tent or surreptitiously in front of the mirror. Obviously they have been preparing and rehearsing at school . There will be games played and cards given. The teacher apparently asked the children what they liked to do most with their Dads or like kidlet puts it "Why you love Daddy a lot?". I'm smiling thinking about it. Especially so, since she has told them something on the lines of 'video games' ;)
They also had a Grandparent's Day last year. It had taken me by surprise. Neither of our parents live in town, and I should have ideally liked some advance notice on this one. Though by a happy coincidence, my parents had come to town on a trip at the time, and there was a really lovely memory that was created that day. My parents were beaming, they had received acknowledgement at their youngest (and 15th!) grandchild's school. The school had kindly taken portrait pictures of the children with their grandparents - and that picture is precious indeed. Something, that on my own I have not done.
Which brings me to ruminating on the significance of these 'special' days. Most days I would tut-tut and say, these are over-romantiscised new phenomena that marketeers are using to pander to newly rich pockets. Maybe true. I agree, we all grew up with more or less one special day - which would most likely be our birthday! I do not remember my parents being called to school for anything other than Parent teacher meetings, much less the grandparents being called for anything. Sometimes, the thought does cross my mind that maybe we are really the over-parenting generation. Making life all fairy tale like for our kids.
But then , I pause and think to myself. Is it really that bad to celebrate family?Relationships? People who mean so much to us. Sure, we love them regardless of the day maybe even tell them often too. But taking out some time to celebrate that wonderfulness can not possibly be a bad thing. However many cheesy cards and punny rhymes that would mean.
And at the end of the day, however much I joke and whine about all these days. I secretly look forward to them. Wait to be taken by surprise. To be told, 'Yes, I see you. You mean much to me!'. Yes, that cannot be a bad thing. No, Not at all!


Sunday, 11 March 2012

Being an asocial Mom

This post has been brewing in my mind for a while now. I have been wondering how to put it across, indeed if it was worth a blog post at all. Anyways I have decided to talk about it now, since there seems to be really not much else to talk about : unless you want to read my review of 'Kahaani' ;)
Here goes then, the dilemma of a somewhat asocial person in the juggernaut of motherhood. When I say asocial I do not mean 'anti-social' which in the true sense of the word means somebody who is against society. Let me be very clear, I am not anti-social. I am, for lack of a better word, a recluse. Left to my own devises, I would rather spend all my time at home, reading books or on the internet. Even when I go out (to exercise, for instance) I prefer times (afternoons, late evenings) when not many people are around. My husband sometimes jokingly refers to me as a homophobe (though what he means is an Anthropophobe). Thats what it is then. It does not bother me (or the spouse, thankfully). If it seems like a perfectly fine thing to you too, you are right. It actually is pretty ok. It takes all types to make the world go around, no? And I've managed to be like this for 30 odd years and no-ones really come up to me and said, 'Arre but why are you like this?'.
But obviously there are some kinks in this way of being. For starters I'm not very good at networking. Put me in a new situation, and it takes me more than what would be the average time to get warm. For example, during the course of my working life, I worked in 3 different cities -offices of the same firm. Every time I reached a new office I would be paralysed by fear. Why? I'm asocial remember. It means I lack certain obvious social skills which help most people to mingle, break ice, forge relationships , etc. etc. I say this with not a dime of self pity. I am just stating the facts.
Very few people who would have worked with me would remember me as a recluse though. They'd say I was more of the class clown. And sadly they would be right! This paradox can be simply explained.Usually people who don't have the social skills to engage with others in a more expected manner use other means to draw attention to themselves. And who ends up being the clown? Someone who goofs up a lot and leads to a few laughs, no? This role is the easiest one for an uneasy person otherwise, trust me!
Either that or I'm just awkward. Sometimes I just jest with myself saying, middle name awkward. Physically awkward, as in limbs a-skelter, eyes a-batting, all the wrong words tumbling out of my mouth at gibberish speed, sometimes inaudible. But the best is this, many a times people who have become friends have come back to me and said, 'In the beginning we thought you were so arrogant!'. Yeah - I guess you come off as stand-offish if you are out sulking in a corner shuffling your feet. And who'd know you are a plain dork if you have 'come close to me and I'll eat you' look on your face!
Anyways, so thats all about me. All huffety puffety people skills and then I go along and beget a child. Of the many things that nobody ever warned me about having a child was this - the enormous amounts of social interaction this would entail. And then we added some sludge to misery by going and having our baby in Europe of all places - in a country where they didn't even speak our darned language. Goodness I was so uptight during my labour that I would temper down my screams to (hopefully) more genteel 'aaaahhhhs' while the true-blue german down the corridor, also in labour, shrieked her lungs out with gay abandon!
After finally getting back to desh-land I realised quite protractedly how much of a village it actually takes to bring up baby. Especially if the baby in question happens to be a night-sleeping averse, screamathon by day, totally marching to her own tune type trooper! We did a fair bit of house hunting and moving around within the country in her second year. It was a lot of effort - both physically and mentally draining. I had nobody to talk to or advise me. It felt like a lone battle. When we moved to Chennai for a few months, I enrolled the kidlet in a mother-toddler programme. So that she could have some company and I could also hopefully make some friends. Given my track record, it took me a phenomenal amount of effort to go through with this thrice weekly ritual of strapping howling child on self and taking her to a class where mothers seemed to have cliques of their own and even the kids seemed far more well-behaved/trained than mine. And as was the case, by the end of six months when I had got myself slightly friendly with about one and a half other Moms it was time to move back to Mumbai again!
By the time we were back in Mumbai (kidlet was just about to turn two) I knew that she would have a speech delay. I have always been cautious about mentioning this in public, because at the end of the day it is my daughter's life and when she grows up I do not want her to feel that I was telling the world her story without her knowing it. But now that she's grown a bit and now that I have met several people who are traumatised by such things, I know that it is better to speak out about these things. Yes, so where was I? Yes, the speech delay. I knew that the best way to help my daughter get talking was letting her meet other kids her age. We were new in town and had taken up an apartment in a fairly old housing society populated by mainly gujaratis. These people had been living there for donkeys years, and they didn't really warm to renters very easily. It was then that I felt really depressed about my asocial ways - I knew that in order to help my daughter, I had to get out of the house more, meet more people and get more friends for her in the the bargain. I had also put her in a playgroup - which she loved - touchwood! But that was for only two hours in a day. I'd spoken to a child psychologist who re-iterated the same - get yourself out more often. Lead by example! Well, the happy fact is that I did. Despite my almost physical dis-inclination to do so, I started taking the kidlet out more. It took a while to break in. I surprised myself by going and talking to strangers - many of them openly hostile - oh groups can be very clannish sometimes I tell you. I started talking to my daughter more. Since I was the only other person in the house most of the time (the husband travels much) I really had to make the effort and talk for two people. I'm telling you, the initial few days after I consciously started to make the effort to talk more, my jaw used to hurt at night. Truth.
Then came the one year of acid-testing. I'll keep it brief because it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth, talking about it. We put our daughter in a very highly recommended Montessori nursery. Honestly, we did it because we thought with the 'let the child lead the way' philosophy, our child would have room to grow at her own pace. No such luck!! The darned place had old snarky looneys for teachers. People who screamed and ranted at little children who did not conform (I am not making this up - I've heard enough of it with my own ears). This teacher would call me in almost every week to humiliate me about something or the other. I am told that this is the schools regular tactic - but at that time, I used to rue my tongue-tiedness. I wanted to be able to stand up and tell the lady to buzz off - loud and clear. Both my husband and I fought the negativity as best as we could, but the whole while I felt let down with my inability to engage. Finally in the last month of school, I did gather courage (fueled by enough pent up rage) to go and complain about the teacher's behaviour to the head of the school. Sure enough, the teacher's bad behaviour stopped. Would you believe it - I have kicked myself enough times over the last year for not having done it earlier!!
Luckily, we got out of that nursery and now have gone to a significantly better school. I still find myself tongue-tied and fumbling at parent-teacher meetings and other socials. But with time I have also noticed things about myself which have changed. I no longer rue much over prospective social outings. I've been to several play-dates at other peoples homes where I feel uncomfortable but rather than blowing up the feeling I just keep my mouth shut, sit back and enjoy seeing the happiness on my daughters face.
My mom tells me I was very sociable when I was young. I would go up to strangers and say hello to them, readily welcome visitors to our home and make plans to go to theirs. I'm not sure when all of that changed. My daughter right now, is much like me at her age - sociable and outgoing. I would wish a better outcome for her than for me. That thought is what helps me step out of my comfort zone without many qualms nowadays. That and my daughter's guiding hand, in the play area and elsewhere, where she just sits down next to a child and says, 'Can I play with you? Will you be my friend?'.
At the end of the day, isn't the child the father of man?


Monday, 27 February 2012

The three feet high knock.. :)

Bathing is a highly under-rated pleasure. Don't get your mind all wandering now. All I mean is the pleasure of peacefully cleansing yourself within a decent time-frame, undisturbed and undistracted. A few minutes of sopping out of the the accumulated grime and muscle tension is all I ask. And this could mean anywhere between 5 and 7 minutes. Anything in the double digits would just be a foolhardy extravagance! Especially if you are a mother, this pleasure is long denied and much appreciated. If you are a mother who feels otherwise, just stop reading here - because I begrudge you this indulgence ;)
My days go by in a typical whiff and a song. The kidlet has afternoon school - which means that my entire morning and mid-day is taken care of. Breakfast ,entertaining kid in the morning while supervising the help, getting her ready for school, and because by the time she leaves at 11, the day is already upon me - there are the dozen odd chores that I can just about manage to chortle into the interim 3 hours that she is away. Oh, and 45 minutes of these three hours are spent in commuting to her school to pick her up. If mornings are rushed, evenings are even more packed. There are classes to be taken to, birthday parties to attend, park -time to be supervised and last-minute groceries to be purchased. At the end of the day, most days, I feel like I've been pulled through a bramble bush backwards. Seriously. The feet are the most sullen, somedays my hair is also crackling in protest. Added to this, the child and me are usually by ourselves at this hour (husband travels much, comes home late etc.)- so I have the added responsibility of being delightfully educative and conversational when I would much rather be dipped in a huge hot tub of reviving blessed water - and some bath salts if it was not too much of an effort! Given the fact that I live in Mumbai, even if I had a bath tub in my house, there wouldn't be enough water to fill it with or even if there was - it would smell like a chlorine experiment, so I should stop dreaming now!
However a 5 minute balti-mug/sting under the shower bath should not be that difficult you would think. Gah! How wrong you are and how right Murphy was. This is how things pan out on most days.
Me : Baby, I'm going for a wash.
Kid : Ok, Mom. (She has already been plonked in front of the ever moronic 'Oggy and the Cockroaches' - Bad mother post - for another time)
Me : You sit there ok. I'll be out in 5 minutes.
Kid : Ok, Mom.
< I leave for the bathroom. Water has already been filled in the bucket. I'm afraid of the shower because between the sounds of the traffic, band-baaja-baarats outside and Oggy I can barely hear anything without having to compound it with the lull of streaming water, however nice that feels. I close the door, step out of my clothes and let the first flush of respite run down my face. My body is barely wet when....>
Kid : Mom..< I pretend not to hear>
Kid : Mo-aw-ohm
Me : Yes, baby, what happened.
Kid : Where are you? < This, when she is obviously standing right outside the bathroom door.
Me : I am in the bathroom.
Kid : What are you doing Mom?
Me : I'm taking a bath. I told you, na?
Kid : Mom. I need to do su-su.
Me : OK. I'll be out in a minute.
(Knock, knock, knock..the three feet high knocks from the other side of the door are continuous and ever urgent. There is no way of ignoring them)
I have no idea how I end my bath most days. All I know is that what I start as a relaxation routine typically turns on its head for me and I step out all hot and breathless most days. Ah, forget moisturisers, under-eye and hand creams I step right out from the car-wash to the mud pond if you know what I mean.
You know, while I was typing this I felt it may come across as such a minor gripe! But heart of hearts I really feel it is not. On those days - rare days - that I do get a few undisturbed minutes to myself - when I'm not being barged upon with neediness - I feel so much better equipped. To handle my self, my child and the cares of a family. And is that really too much to ask?


Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Remembering Summers past.

And just like that, summer is here. Strangely enough the sound that slowly echoes summer to me comes from the ceiling fan! Yes, the slow moans suddenly give way to rapid whirrs and drown out not the quietude but the noise. For, me the onset of summer has always been associated with the suddenly fast fan :) And soon enough there would be the water cooler - and not that one which is associated with corporate offices nowadays. When I was growing up in a small little town in M.P. (incidentally now its become part of the truncated Naxalite Chattisgarh!!) water coolers would be stuffed with freshly dried grass called 'Khus' - I'm still not sure what sort of grass that was - but it had this beautiful soporific smell. The first blast from my water cooler could literally send me to wonderland! There is something about air-conditioning which can never quite compare.
There I am, at maybe age eight, airing myself out in maybe just a shameeze - that muslin cloth under-thing that covered me yet left me light. Those days these shameezes came with something called 'shadow-work' embroidery. There were pretty criss-cross patterns of birds and flowers peeping from under the cloth - if I close my eyes now - I can still see them! I am almost a 100% sure that my mother would not allow me out in such attire, but I have this really vague memory of being happiest when I was with my birds, dressed such.
Summers were these huge vast wastelands of time - and memory does not serve me well on the heat. I do not remember it. I just remember the whiteness. The entire landscape would turn many shades pale. The grass would dry and be prickly to naked feet. There would be unnamed fruits which would shed long stamens with pretty dried flower heads. The guava trees would be white - have you ever noticed the white limbs of a guava tree, puckered and covered with scabs of bark? I have. There used to be this particular tree (yes, there were many!) right next to my bedroom which I favoured above all. I knew all its limbs well, knew which foot to put where, the forks of the branches where I could rest. Shielded from the world. Sometimes the wind would carry across voices to me. But in summers it would be mostly still. The land behind our home would be barren, whatever crop that had been yielded, cut to earth, drying out the leftover chaff.
But there were the Gulmohars. And the few resilient bougainvillea - these collected dust, their veins dried, tired and gray - paper thin. But the Gulmohars were gorgeous - succulent petals - which tasted khatta - yes I ate them sometimes! Drops of breathless living red in an ocean of white and dusty brown.
For me the memories of summers spent in this particular home will always be about the smells and sounds and how things felt. It was a vast home - a British era bungalow, flanked on all sides with vast tracts of land. Things were bent and crooked, as things of a certain vintage are. Maybe I gloss over how the canvas false ceiling would threaten to upend under the pull of the giant swirling fan; how there were mosquitoes and macchar-daanis had turned yellow with overuse. Maybe I forget how stifling the slow movement of time was, how inane getting the water boiled in a copper boiler could be. What I do remember is the red-concrete floor with its unevenness, the mosaic floors which had pictures hidden inside which only a child could find -scratches that I had by-hearted. I remember the curtains that had to be pulled up from the floor to be put down only after poncha was done, the wooden columns of the showcase, the cane chairs - long bleached, and painted over green and then white with only their frayed feet letting on their truth. I remember Holi. Oh! Very much. A slow gaggle would start at our gate and then slowly wind down the lane collecting people and songs as it went. I remember the gulal streaked pathway - pink on red earth.
And there I leave it for now, my reminiscences of a much loved past :)


Sunday, 12 February 2012

Me love for the short month :)

Well, the pretty month is here. I really don't know why february doesn't get as much attention as it deserves. It is such a beautiful month really - of all months it is the shortest - just flits by without becoming too much of a bore. And even though it is silly season for some (Valentine's day, ahem!) it is a lovely time of weather too - for us in India. Winter is more or less abating, its neither too hot or too cold. Mornings still have that nip and the sunshine is promising and not yet bearing down on you.
February also happens to be the time of all things festival - and I do not mean the religious variety. Not withstanding the shenanigans of the JLF, there are other smaller and throbbing with enthusiasm city festivals like the Kala Ghoda Arts festival - which has something for everybody in it!! And I really miss going to the Surajkund arts and crafts mela at this time of the year...
Anyhow, this year, like the last few years I took the kidlet along with me for the Kala Ghoda festival on one of the first days..infact it was the day after they had commenced and things were still being set up, there were not too many people around (compared to the last day when it looked like Victoria Terminus at peak hour!). And, we were able to make a pleasant afternoon out of it, we spent time investigating the art installations - and I was amazed at how much a four year old can understand - my lil one totally impressed me with her understanding of the installations about noise pollution. Though she totally missed the point of a very clever installation called 'Under the Table' - and just as well! We ended the afternoon with a some 'chaat'...so very pleasant it was :) Yes, now you understand why the love for this small little baby month. I am totally inspired to take the kid to more such nice places (art galleries , museums and such ) - keeping it short and uncomplicated is the key - and the fact that now she is able to understand and articulate so much - I am really enjoying these little trips with her!
The other two cool things (cool in my book!) I did last month were taking out some much needed alone time to do some things that really invigorated me mind and heart. Went to watch 'Vagina Monologues' with a friend - and it was all that it is made out to be and more! What a lovely lovely show - and what a fantastic time I had - especially since I was with a friend and there was not a baby in sight! The other little me time I got was when I went off on quite a whim and the husband's blessings to attend a talk by authors at Kala Ghoda. Its been almost 10 years since I had been to something like this - and I really enjoyed the almost collegial atmosphere of the event. Baby steps, I say - time for Mama to come out of her, cocoon, eh?
Yes, bring it on february, I write my ode to you. I am ready to savour every promise you make, even if it just has to melt in my mouth :)
Poetic aren't we? Hope you have a lovely lovely time too!