100 cupcakes to X-mas..

..really, don't ask..
 
two words

FUN FAIR

in my daughters school!

What do I have to do, in this parent sponsored jamboree?

Image : cutefoodforkids.com

1. Bake a 100 cupcakes - ice them in a X-masy theme - pack them in individual packages.

2. Be 'Props in-charge' for a puppet show. Have you seen puppets. How tall are they? What do you think their shoe size is? Do you know a clever way of converting 'sexy-suzy' teacher puppet into old graying 'aunty-carol' puppet?

Image : allthingschristmas.com

3. Buy christmas decorations for a classroom the size of an average Bombay living room - not bad you say. Now hand me a budget of 1000 Rupees. Oh wait, don't smudge your manicure (of how many rupees?) while you are handing me that note ? :/

4. Buy raffle tickets. Sell raffle tickets. And how will a raffle ever be one without your generous contribution to the raffle prizes? What did I hear you say ? A lose-lose situation? Close.

5. Wear a two-sizes too small T-shirt in a dried puke hue which screams out to the world that you are 'Super Mom'. If that doesn't do it for you - heaven knows what will.









Disclaimer : This is a totally fictional post. All rants and complaints are of an imaginative nature. I am of course a very happy to help, Bree incarnate, Mom-in-chief! 

Home Improvement..

Ok..let me begin by saying that I am not one of those eternally arty and crafty people. And this is not to say that I do not admire people who are! On the contrary, I perk up at the sight of a beautifully done up house, or corner, or store, or anything. I lurk around on decor and interiors websites which give me an instant pick-me-up! It is a dichotomy in my personality that I find most difficult to reconcile (Which basically means I can sit in the middle of what essentially is a pigsty and drool-drool-drool at pictures of stunningly done up spaces or art projects!).

Why am I going on about this you ask? Because, I just got over with a mini home-improvement project just about an hour back. This involved mostly added shelving and juggling around of a few fittings. And I am exhausted. And - the house looks even more chaotic than it was before..hmmm! How do these guys who do it so well, and make it look as simple as a-1-a-2-a-3..do it?

Image Courtesy : Design Sponge

Image Courtesy : housedecorationx.blogspot.in

Well, since I am still trying to figure that one out and simultaneously looking at pictures of what I would like my workspace to look like...I've decided to share some inspiring home office pictures with you all.

Most of these pictures have a white accent - but unfortunately my workspace is cream and brown! But oh - I love these home offices - don't you ?

Image courtesy : cbc.ca

Image courstesy : housetohome.co.uk

Food memories

This year has been full of interesting ideas and people as I have already mentioned.. part of which has been participating in the NaNoWriMo (or the national novel writing month!) - albeit ever so briefly and now I have signed up with the marathon bloggers - which means one post every day - all of December!!Yay!

Which brings me to the topic of conversation for today - food! Indeed I have come to believe that food and blogging have some sort of illicit relationship, you know. Every second blog I go to has got to have delicious, delectable, drool-worthy pictures and recipes and soliloquies about food, food, and food! And oh my lord - am I complaining? Not at all!

So, heres the thing : as part of a food based theme, I've brought it upon myself to write about 5 memorable meals that I've had. That cannot be difficult, can it? Lets find out.

My trajectory of food appreciation (or rather the realization that there are food categories beyond dal, chawal and chocolate) began only after I got married. My idea of food heaven was the Hot Chocolate Fudge at Nirulas..and as you will see, not much has changed.

So ladies and gentlemen, here is presenting my 5 favourite food memories of all time:

1. Hot Chocolate Fudge at Nirulas, New Delhi
Do not tell me that you are from 'the Dallee' and don't know what the HCF is. When I was in college (a seriously long time ago) Nirula's was THE place to hang out. And the HCF was THE thing to have. With its generous dollops of thick fudgy chocolate and ice-cream and nuts - it was just the treat to be had by poor starving students. There are days in hot humid Mumbai, that I seriously crave HCF - but have yet to find a worthy equivalent. Anywhere! (Not even the Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity NY). So there.

2. Anything with Pesto Genovese
Ok, I have a little food crush - and it is green and sort of slimy. It goes by the name of Pesto and originated in quaint little Genoa. I had it for the first time at its place of origin (yes - bragging rights - fresh off the mortar in Genoa). It surprised my taste buds with its flavour and yumminess. I am no food blogger - but really I have since been hooked to this divine accompaniment - and use it with everything - from parathas (gasp) to Cheese sandwiches - with Italian hari chutney like I call it!

3. Hot dogs in NYC

Image Courtesy : tooflynyc.com

This should be banal, I thought. What's the big deal about a piece of bread with a sausage? Oh, but how wrong I was. I hereby declare the NY Hotdog the best on-the-go food in the world. The sheer simplicity and taste make it win the prize. Trust me, I love the Bombay vada-pav (and I live next to Ladoo-Samrat!), but the hotdog made with its melt in your mouth bread with the cooked just right sausage has won me over. No accompaniments needed. Heaven.

4. Death by Chocolate at Corner House, Bangalore
When people think of Bangalore, they think of gardens, of cool breeze, of pubs maybe, but leave me to it and I'll come up with Death by chocolate. So much decadence on one plate is criminal. And I can confess to have indulged in this crime multiple times. It really is a good thing I don't live in Bangalore anymore.

5. Bircher Muesli, Switzerland 

Image Courtesy : myswitzerland.com

Bircher Muesli is an acquired taste - but once you acquire it, it is difficult to forget or not to lust over. Made right (unfortunately only happens in Switzerland) it is the ultimate cold breakfast. With its creamy undertones, bursting berries and inherent mealiness (I am not really trying hard to be poetic here!), I just cannot begin to describe how refreshing a bowl of well made Bircher Muesli can be.

And that dear friends are the top 5 food memories that I can think of. You may notice that they are not very well refined - and mostly fall into the 'junk' food category. Do not judge me please - I can savor a fruit salad as well - as long as it is pepped up with some lime and chaat masala :)

Happy Birthday Blog

Yipee! Yay! Fantastico....ribba-dubba-gazoomba Ganganam style! We are ONE today!

This blog officially celebrates its first birthday - and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you, you and you (because you know there are still just three of us who read it )..No sweat though.

It has been a pretty good year for me (touch - wood, trees, roots, shrubs!! really) and it all pretty much can be traced back to around the time I started this blog. We had just moved house - into a new complex, which greatly improved our quality of living. And by that I do not mean in the social pecking order. It has been good for kidlet, good for me and the spouse in so many different ways. So theres that.

And then there is the positivity that this blog has seemed to signal. The first blog that I ever started back then in 2006 was called 'Suspended Imagination' - you can pretty much imagine how far that could have taken me. Then I went on to a hugely imaginative motherhood blog called 'So the house is a mess' - yes, the truth lies in the point of view. Do you really need to know more about all the other fledgling ideas I had? (Hint : Consumer Research, Design (!)). But even though I still harp on and on about general interest randomness - at least I am having fun doing it - refer to blog address, it is fun times around here :-)

And now for a tiny announcement - and no its really not what you were expecting to hear : I have started a new website - thechildrensdaily.net ! Why and what you ask.

Why? Very simply, since I have been badgering my head around trying to get this freelance writing thing right, I though to myself let me at least start writing something useful which will get me practice and get feedback.

What? All the news a Parent can use is what I am planning to write about. Which means, news and discussions from around the world which can be good to know for parents. Written in bite sized features - you see I have always been a big De Witt Wallace fan.

And that's that then. I would be hugely grateful to you if you could visit the site and leave comments and feedback for me. And that would be the best birthday gift this blog could ask for :-)

Cheerio!

Mamma Baby Mamma

You are a Mom. You are a baby.

My Mom, she still thinks of me the same way like I think about Kidlet. Which essentially means if I don't pick up the phone for more than an hour of her trying (mobile-landline-mobile) there is just cause for panic. Things like naps, school appointments, silent mode are not excuse enough. "But, I was worried about you!" she always gasps, while I roll my eyes on the other end of the line.

And you thought growing up into a mother would make you less of a kid. Tough luck there!

I am my mother's youngest child. She had me when she was 45. I had my baby when I was 27 and am exhausted by parenting already at 32! Where did this woman get the strength to bring a baby into the world at 45 I wonder. And oh, I forgot - I was baby number seven. I ask my Mom sometimes, "Why? Why did you do it". She is totally dismissive of the question - like any doubts never occurred to her.

Now in her late 70's she claims to be tired. I would be surprised if it were otherwise! But that doesn't stop her from pressing on. Each phone call is an exhaustive newsletter of which child and grandchild of hers is doing what. She and my Dad still get into elaborate machinations when any one of us even remotely needs any help. And here I am looking forward to the day Kidlet passes out of college and gets a job.

I look at her and I wonder why people stick on to this parenting gig. Heaven knows it gets a lot of flak. You are constantly under scrutiny and not to mention are second guessing every decision you make. To top that, every one of your child's heartaches becomes your own. And there are new things to learn every step of the way - theres nary a let-up! But here we are, my Mom and I - trudging on with a commitment we made to that one little heartbeat that decided to leap into our world.

My name is Nidhi. I am my baby's Mom and I am my Mom's baby. And I am proud and happy that I can claim to be both - oh wait I need to answer that missed call, before we get all panicky again ;)

Upheavals and then some settling down!

So, the good news is that the significant other and I have completed 7 years together! I for one am just rolling back and forth in the time reel to process how that ever happened. I mean, when one gets married, one doesn't really prepare for milestones like these, no?

It has been a sort of fun month too. Kidlet has her concert coming up at school and we have a slightly modified schedule, which involves her leaving very early and staying at school for an hour more. Though it has been an upheaval of sorts - from school at noon to the crack of dawn can be one!

There are other things too - which I am so grateful about. And given the fact that I find more occasions to whine than to sing about, so to speak, I would prefer to dwell on the positives for a change this month. For starters, I danced. As in really really danced. If my math and memory serve me well its been a decade since I well and truly let my hair loose and danced. And it just happened. Without much planning, at the most innocuous occasion (Husband's office party, if you must know!) my heels just started clicking together - and there I was on the dance floor - and boy am I glad I did that. Otherwise who knows how long I would have kept those hips just lying around. Ha, ha, ha..ok, not funny!

Next item on the agenda has been getting back on the career track. With some hits and several misses. Still a fledgling as a freelance writer. Though I know it would be way easier to get back to Research (my previous full time wage earning profile!), I really want to make my way forward as a writer. This month I had a few positive meetings with people interested in my work - so fingers crossed, lets see what comes of it! There are also some ideas that I really would like to see take wing - so fingers crossed for that as well - but lots of anticipation too :)

If you have been reading my blog (fat chance, I know!) you know of my guilt about not blogging about the kidlet more. But help is here! Blogadda has started a new platform for parent bloggers called Parentous.com. And guess who appears in their Wednesday offering? Kidlet, of course!

And on that happy note, I wish you good tidings with a promise to be back sooner next time with a more well thought through post. Have been battling a sinus infection - and am not sure if it is the clogged airways or the medication, but I'm quite out of breath nowadays - ah well, you cannot win 'em all, eh?

An Uncomfortable truth..

As I type this, there is a voice inside me telling me not to do it. "Don't do it, don't go out and tell the world what a horrible terrible mother you have been."

What exactly am I talking about? Like the world (or at least those in India ) wakes up to daily updates of baby Ahuti who died at the hands of her mother - I feel fraught with despair, not just for the poor poor child who died a death so brutal but also for the mother who was obviously over the edge and desperate. By no means can I condone her actions but as details of the case emerge - of a mother with three children - two of them premie twins with obvious care needs .. Children who cried and screamed through the night - and ostensibly no or very little help for the mother...I can somewhat see how the tragedy could have unfurled. Though the extent to which the child (children?) was abused is simply bone chilling, I simply cannot join in on pointing fingers at the parents with righteous outrage.

The reason being that several times in the past five years I have felt on the verge of hitting my child. Out of despair, frustration, tiredness..anger! I know many of you would say - but of course - most of us feel like that at some time. But what I am talking about is another feeling - one which involves grievous body harm - a feeling of harming your child so badly that it shuts up, quietens down - acquiesces..submits. The feeling I am talking about is at the edge of desperation and would according to me qualify as being beyond the ambit of anger and sense.

It happened to me more than once. This feeling that I am talking about. When kidlet was younger than a year old - I would sometimes scream - at her, at the walls..or into the towels in the bathroom. I possibly had post partum depression - who is to know. Since we lived abroad with no family or support around - my desperation just kept getting exacerbated. My child was fortunate that I did not take out the violent feelings that I felt onto her during that time. Really- I am grateful for whatever last vestiges of sanity that I had for keeping me from doing anything stupid - either to myself or my child.

I took anti depressants ..vented out on online forums .. Cried, cribbed and shouted at my husband..nothing provided respite. Then one day, I got a glimpse of how dangerous I could become. It was one of the nights that my husband was away. My daughter - always a fitful sleeper was not only awake but crying - a persistent whiny cry. I tried to pat her, carry her, sing, feed ..she would not budge - the whining persisted for the next few hours. I was exhausted - I implored her to quieten down ( she was around 20 months old) she responded by increasing her pitch. I raised my voice - the whining turned into full fledged crying. I shouted. She cried even louder. Then almost by its own volition my hand raised and rested with a resounding 'thwack' on my daughter's back. It was all quiet for a second. I looked at my daughter in the darkness and I could barely make out the shock in her eyes..and then I hit her again on the back..yes I did it twice. And even as I cried I felt the worst feeling that a mother ever should - that of feeling good after hitting her child. That one second of shocked quiet felt good. Good sense made me pick her up and take her to the living room and switch on the lights before I could do more harm. My daughter continued to cry. But suddenly I was numb to it because I was too shocked by my actions, too scared of myself. I begged my uncomprehending child for forgiveness. Later that day I would confess my actions to my mother and husband. They both reacted as they should - cautiously understanding but asking me to find ways to control my rage.

After that day, I became truly aware of how dangerous I could become under the combined influence of whatever environmental and biological factors that there were..and I knew I had to be very very cautious of myself. I would be lying if I said that I never again felt like hitting my child. Several times when I felt myself moving into that mood I rushed to another room - shouted, screamed, threw things around .. Put on music and closed my eyes .. But thankfully I managed to resist the urge to hit her again. The guilt and shame of that time has stayed with me though. Every time I remember that instance (and now that I write about it) I want it to have never happened. And then when cases of parental abuse come up in the media, I shiver and recoil in terror. Maybe I never could have actually committed such violence but my experience has shown me how darkness can seep through into what is otherwise painted as the most wondrous time of your life - motherhood.

I am not sure if I can do a 'moral of the story' sort of end to this post, but the reason I wrote about this is to admit to the tumultuous nature of parenting. Not every motherhood is hunky dory and filled with play doh and gurgles and all things happy. For some, parenting can the most painful, challenging thing - it would be good if we could accept that as being a possibility.